Hello Beautifuls

I found an old journal entry from about five years ago when I stayed for a weekend at an ashram. At a time when I was feeling burnout, I wanted to reconnect with my yoga practice and disciplines. I felt a calling to share some of this journal entry with you.

Mauna, or Silence: We have been practicing silence from evening until after breakfast, with the exception of chanting. However, it feels as though I've barely spoken since arriving. Some find discomfort in not speaking, but the introverted part of me feels like it has alleviated the pressure to communicate. I can simply be, exist in a space of observation, and reflect without concerning myself with what I will say next. This silence has, I believe, provided me with a spaciousness that allows for deeper introspection of myself and my practice.

In my practice today and yesterday, I realised that I'm always second-guessing myself and the instructions. An internal dialogue continuously echoes within me, "Have I interpreted it correctly? I will look silly if I didn't get it right.” I notice myself looking around the room to correct my form - feeling a sense this egotist necessity to achieve perfection and order. It all must look good, seamless, perfect. I have to impress this highly experienced, 70-year-old teacher. But then, I look up to see that her eyes are, in fact, closed! It was in that moment that the lightbulb lit up.

Have I been practicing yoga solely for myself all this time, or could it have been for external factors? Is that perhaps why I fell away from my practice because it may not have solely been for myself initially? Am I fearful of undertaking deeper self-work and as a consequence, have I been in avoidance? Could it be that I don't think I'm worthy of showing up for? After all, if no one is watching, the only person I need to prove anything to is myself.

When I did my original yoga teacher training, I found myself very dedicated to my practice and my disciplines. It felt good and I could witness the powerful transformations occurring within me. Yet, my motivations were not entirely for myself; I did not want to appear inadequate to my teacher or peers. This has stirred up the question within me - was I ever really doing it for myself?

I'd like to pose this reflective question to all of you: For whom and why are you practicing? This gentle prompt for introspection could trigger a profound assessment of your intentions and your approach to Yoga.

Is your commitment being fueled by a need to perfect a pose better than others or to capture a 'picture-perfect' posture for social validation? Or is Yoga a sacred mat-time where you connect with your breath, body, and inner self?

In our yoga practice, it's quite natural for the 'Ego Mind' to silently creep in. We start comparing ourselves with others in the room or even with our own previous performances. But remember, Yoga is not a competition nor a platform for exhibition. Yoga is not about propping up our ego; it's about quietening it.

The essence of Yoga lies beyond the physicality - it's about cultivating mindfulness, deepening self-awareness, and harmonising the mind, body, and spirit. It's your personal journey into yourself, where the only person you're meant to connect with and outdo, is you.

So next time, you roll out your mat, let it be a sacred reminder to let go of the ego, the competition, the comparisons - and just embrace and enjoy 'your' practice. After all, the only validation you need is your own.

If you made it this far Thankyou for reading I hope you enjoyed the reflections.

Sending big love & Light

Danae